


it's hard to defeat a woman in love

by possibilityleft



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, First Fusion, First Meeting, Pre-Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 14:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4141998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilityleft/pseuds/possibilityleft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl looked at them and paired them for fusion practice because of their similar size.  It's a small beginning to a big relationship.</p>
<p>
  <em>She wished she could see Sapphire's eyes.  It was impossible to read her expression.  Was she disappointed to fuse with a small Ruby?  She hadn't said a word, just offered her hand.  Maybe she just wanted to get this over with.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's hard to defeat a woman in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BatchSan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatchSan/gifts).



> The title is a quotation from Terri Guillemets.

"And why don't you two try?" Pearl said, and then Ruby had a partner, just like that. The other Gem didn't look like much -- a Sapphire, probably, but small and quiet. Ruby might be a small Gem, but she did her best to make up for it. She knew that larger, stronger Gems often dismissed smaller ones like her, and it made her all the more determined to be better than all of them. But of course Pearl, tall and lanky and so besotted with Rose and her methods that Ruby saw it as soon as they'd met, only saw their comparative size. They probably wouldn't even make an interesting fusion.

That was, if they could even do it. All her life, Ruby had heard that fusion was a wasteful tactic at best and useless at worst; Gems were fiercely independent beings and suppressing their personalities enough to be a stable fusion was extremely difficult, or a sign of weak minds. But Rose Quartz was questioning everything about the regime, including this dogma, and so Ruby had been summoned, along with a number of her other supporters, to try something new.

Ruby wanted something new. She wanted to be more than everyone told her she could be. Rose Quartz had promised that. Ruby would fight for it.

Sapphire shifted slightly and offered Ruby her hand. Ruby hesitated, but everyone else had already been paired, and Pearl was talking about the fusion process. Ruby should be listening, but she was watching Sapphire's hand.

She wished she could see Sapphire's eyes. It was impossible to read her expression. Was she disappointed to fuse with a small Ruby? She hadn't said a word, just offered her hand. Maybe she just wanted to get this over with.

Ruby stuck out her hand and their gems clinked together, sending a shiver up Ruby's spine. She hadn't realized they were well-matched in that manner as well as their size. She could feel the tingle of the touch still, even though she had jerked her hand back immediately.

Sapphire waited. She hadn't pulled back her own hand, but she had smiled, just a little. Ruby pushed down her embarrassment. If Sapphire wasn't going to say anything, she wasn't going to either. She reached out again and took her hand, just her fingers this time, so that their gems didn't touch.

This felt ridiculous. She'd never successfully fused with anyone, and she didn't think it was going to happen with a stranger. She wasn't sure she wanted to do it. Weren't there better ways to win this war? Was it a bad sign, starting out this way?

Sapphire's arm didn't waver, even though neither of them had moved in a long moment. Around them, pairs stumbled uncertainly into dances, attempting to mimic Pearl's smooth movements. Ruby should move, but she didn't know how to start, so she shut her eyes and took a step. The first one made the second one easier, but after only a few she was nose to nose with Sapphire, and Sapphire hadn't moved at all. Ruby opened her eyes and stared at Sapphire's bangs. Their arms were twisted up against their chests, and she could feel the soft fluff of Sapphire's skirt against her calves.

"Are you okay?" Ruby asked, biting her lip. She didn't know what to do with her hands.

"Yes," Sapphire said, as sturdy as a stone. She shifted their handclasp so that their gems were brushing again. This time Ruby expected the sharp tingle and braced for it. This time she held on tighter.

And then they were dancing, like they had planned it all along, twisting and drifting together, Sapphire's hand on Ruby's waist and Ruby's fingers clasping Sapphire's wrist. Everything blurred together, and Ruby could feel her gem just shine and shift.

And then it was _different_. She was herself, but more. She felt like she was trying on a completely new form after regenerating, but not only that, but a new personality. She felt -- but it wasn't only herself now, was it? Sapphire was here, all around her, like a suffocating hug, and suddenly Ruby was terrified.

She wasn't herself anymore -- she could feel the new personality rising up between them. She felt like she was dying and she wasn't sure who was being born. Now she understood -- now she saw why Gems didn't like to fuse and lose themselves. What if she couldn't figure out how to go back?

Sapphire didn't tell her to wait or calm down -- Ruby wasn't sure how speaking would work here -- but Ruby felt a moment of warm reassurance before she -- they -- Garnet opened her eyes. 

Mostly she saw the top of other Gems' heads, the occasional flash of brilliant light when others made a successful attempt at fusion. She might have panicked, if she was Ruby alone, but she was something more. In her mind's eye, in her Gem memory, she saw Sapphire's smile.

The fusion lasted only a minute or two, but it felt longer. Garnet hardly moved, overwhelmed by the uncertainty that had built her, new sensation in a new self. She flexed her bicep. It was tight and strong. She saw--

Her third eye opened, and Garnet saw possibilities. She saw Homeworld's surprise attack, wiping out most of their ragged army; she saw the gentleness in Ruby's gaze after a first kiss; she saw shattering and building and the blur of her own fists, hammering through a corrupted beast. The visions were overwhelming and unfamiliar-- but not entirely. The fusion fell apart. 

Ruby lay on the ground and breathed, her cheek in the dust. Was that normal? she thought. How could anyone cope with seeing all of that information every day? Her favorite way to deal with a crisis was by barrelling through it. She couldn't imagine the indecision that would occur when she saw the consequence of every single choice.

A hand blurred into her line of sight, and Ruby twisted to look up at the Gem it belonged to. The Sapphire, as stoic as ever, was reaching out to her again. Ruby wasn't sure she wanted to touch her again. Being Garnet had been terrifying and powerful and had the potential to be even more. She wasn't sure if she was ready to ever do that again. But she and Sapphire had been one of the few pairs that had succeeded, judging by Pearl's pleased exclamation. They'd have to try again.

Ruby reached up and took Sapphire's hand, but mostly pulled her own weight to get to her feet. Sapphire was sturdy and could have easily lifted her, but she had waited for Ruby to reach out in response. Did she also have the future vision power, or was that only between them fused? What was she seeing, looking at Ruby right now?

"Do you -- do you --" Ruby stuttered out, not wanting to let Sapphire leave, even though the training was breaking up. Despite her uncertainty, she didn't want Sapphire to walk away. What if Sapphire had found the fusion unbearable, and that was partly why they had split? What if Sapphire had looked at her deep thoughts and found her wanting? Of course, you didn't have to like your partner to fuse with them, but it made the process easier. And Ruby wanted Sapphire to like her. She kept seeing the flash of a vision she had seen as Garnet -- the look in her own eyes, the moment after a kiss. Ruby wanted to feel the way that vision had made her feel.

"I have a guard shift in half a cycle," Sapphire said. "But afterwards, a free period."

"I'll see you then," Ruby blurted out, and before she could make a greater fool of herself, she fled the scene. She ducked her head, swung her arms, and no one could see the grin she was hiding.


End file.
